Isolation or Loneliness!

 


                                 joyce vincent

 

   It’s 1 am right now and I am going to write about a case that bothered and saddened me for last year. A skeletal remains of a 35 year old woman  found in a apartment in London on her sofa that was surrounded by Christmas presents wrapped in shiny sheets,layers of dust everywhere,and TV and heater still on. police found her skeleton after three years of her death!!!

We are going to talk about Joyce Carol Vincent. a woman in her thirties found dead in her bedsit apartment and her death goes unnoticed for three years. Her body was so badly decomposed that police had to identify the body by comparing dental records. Joyce dead on sofa,telly still on for three years showing  BBC Chanel, stale food in refrigerator expired in 2003 and dirty dishes piled up in sink!

I first read about her in some psychological paper. Image of a newspaper titling ‘Woman dead in flat for three years: skeleton of Joyce found on sofa with telly still on’ and I had goosebumps only reading the title. police did not find much in this case. but a reporter thoroughly researched about her and found some information about her. but there are number of different stories about the case and no one knows for sure,which one is right. I read everything I could find about her and I will share the links in the end of this article.

But the facts about her case is not what i want to talk about. The only fact that a beautiful,young woman dies in her home and in this chaotic world,nobody notices her death for years,this thing,this fact of ignorance is what horrifies me the most. Some say she was in abusive relation some years back of her death and that led her into eventual isolation. Some say that she was physically sick and she died because of her physically degraded state. and Some say that she was so lonely that nobody even bothered to check up on her for years.

The image I found of her last stage still haunts me. Lets discuss if she isolated herself deliberately. Was there no one there she could talk to? Some of the people knew her reported that slowly ,over the period of time she stopped calling and replying to their calls. but did no one felt the need to actually ask her about her isolation? no friend cared to visit her place to see if she was okay? even if she decided to isolate herself, did nobody felt the need to help her through the situation? it bothers me that we are so much indulged in our own lives that a death of a friend,a neighbor ,a colleague and a human being can go unnoticed and uncared for years.

And if it was a loneliness, how can one not have any friends in city of population of roughly 8 million? Is this hectic world and chaotic lifestyle making our emotions blunt? and Is this where the humanity is leading?  after her news,people talked, made a leading news, discussed it as a mystery and went back to their lives. this post is not about the factual of her life but about my insecurity of how thick and obtuse we are becoming in this era.

And in the end I just ask a one thing from you. Please just help out a friend. Don’t let their depression,isolation and sickness go unnoticed and uncared for. Your kindness might save a life somewhere someday! be compassionate,because this is what the world needs now!

links for the case-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyce_Vincent

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2011/oct/09/joyce-vincent-death-mystery

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33 Comments Add yours

  1. Sanjay Gugle says:

    Horrible Story…..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 🌸🌸”Hare Krishna”🌸🌸

    U need to chant

    🌸🌸”Hare Krishna”🌸🌸

    U r never alone. Almighty Lord Krishna can always guide u d path to follow or rather just believe urself to feel d presence of Lord itself within you & forget d rest of d world. It’s beautiful experience .

    You never know soul of this beautiful lady must b enjoying d voyage with Lord .

    It’s difficult but not impossible if u r convinced.

    🌸🌸”Hare Krishna”🌸🌸

    Like

  3. Tejas Gandhi says:

    This is really very sad!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DMak says:

    There are plenty of such cases in highly materialist world, especially with nuclear family & singles.. Countries like our have different problems we don’t have professional support for such people or patients as they may be called. There should be communities or people should live in commune with all freedom but no ownership, so we r all more ready to support each other rather the earning more money individually & self glorification.. Very difficult concept but that will be the final real life, with humanity loving caring not fighting..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thakurdesai Girish says:

    Very good article.One should learn from this that avoid to be alone.Mix with people be practicle in life.Dont be too ambitious enjoy life.Enjoy every moment of it.Dont allow frustation to creep in

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dr. Shirish Kulkarni says:

    Indeed very shocking and then making us recollect the days n joys we had spending our merry life in joint families during our kid old days… Adhesion ,bondage n mutual interaction is an integral and outmost important aspect of a balanced life…
    A very crucial area u hv tried to explore n express b4 society..kudos n claps… Appreciating ur thoughts..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Anonymous says:

    Don’t worry Rutuja, we are lucky to be born in India. Our culture is so rich that we can not come across such horrible incidents here. But we must nurture our culture. We must pass it on to our next generation. This will be the best property for them. It’s OUR generation who , if decide, can do wonders. Don’t worry.. we are still in safe zone.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Milind says:

    Nuclear families, freedom and self made universe, virtual world – n numbers of reasons in western society in which parents can not enter in the room of their children without permission in spite of their age.
    So if you want to connect or speak with friends or relatives , they need to allow you first.
    In this situation such unnoticed deaths are cold truth.
    Effective Communication is bilateral!
    I am agree with Dr Shirish’s views on joint family .

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Snehal Kulkarni says:

    Don’t worry Rutuja, we are lucky to be born in India. Our culture is so rich that we can not come across such horrible incidents here. But we must nurture our culture. We must pass it on to our next generation. This will be the best property for them. It’s OUR generation who , if decide, can do wonders. Don’t worry.. we are still in safe zone.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hemant Deshpande says:

    We are leading to more and more fast world moving towards infinity .
    As we all know more and more cleavages in an emryo leads to more nuclei without a life and thats the problem with all of us

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Mona says:

    Beautiful rutuja.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. dr.amol khandve says:

    Any person not flexible enough to accept opinions , views , characters , behaviors , faiths which are different than his / her own , will be slowly isolated from any family or group .
    We see some charismatic people around us , everybody just want to be with them . They have few things – humour , joy despite workload, compassion and unbound love without return favours .
    All this would not happened if she at least had one caring person around her.

    Like

  13. dr.amol khandve says:

    Any person not flexible enough to accept opinions , views , characters , behaviors , faiths which are different than his / her own , will be slowly isolated from any family or group .
    We see some charismatic people around us , everybody just want to be with them . They have few things – humour , joy despite workload, compassion and unbound love without return favours .
    All this would not happened if she at least had one caring person around her.
    Mostly she is responsible for her fate.

    Like

  14. Manoj Malu says:

    Sad but Unfortunately true. Hence make it a Point to be Connected to people by any means.This is True for all of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Prachee says:

    It’s difficult to come out from depression but not impossible…. Loneliness is not the ultimate solution..Eye opener article rutuja

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Shailesh Kathariya says:

    Seriously very sad to learn such a strange incident of lonliness..
    Really nice article Rutu..👍

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Anonymous says:

    Rutuja Tai there is god’s grace than Indian people are living in joint family, connected with relatives and friends. But disappointing ly now such incidents will occur in India, perhaps might be happening as we also loosing this values and happinesd

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Vinayak.v.kate. says:

    It’s a very good article wrote by you Rutuja.
    Its very sad to hear about Joyce. 3 years no one bothered to go to her or call her. What type of cultural this is.
    We are lucky enough to borne in India. Our culture does not allow any one to be isolated in spite of any odds if at all.
    Your suggestion made in last is worth.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. girish girishhoshing says:

    It is very good artical writers message reach to the reads

    Liked by 1 person

  20. It is very good article message reach to the reader

    Like

  21. CA Akshay Toksiya says:

    We, as a society, really have no idea how *suffocated* people are in their emotions. Most people have *nobody* to express themselves entirely to. Everyone is holding back their *vulnerabilities* to maintain the *social image* of a confident and happy person.

    Heart-to-heart conversations have become *rare, artificial and shallow*. And most hearts are filled with *empty defences*.

    Most people can’t even talk to their *life-partners openly* for the fear of being judged or rejected. Emotions await just a release. Social images make sure weakness is not glorified.

    Children have *bottled up* stress. Young people suffer anxiety and depression.

    It is just lack of social support. It is *lack of non-judgmental* friendships. It is result of *fast and busy lives* where nobody has time to just sit and watch someone cry.

    It is result of *instant and impatient lifestyle* practices, that *emotions have started feeling like waste of time*.

    We have *WhatsApp and FaceBook and social media* – and we also have *stress and anxiety and depression*.

    Our forefathers had neither. Because they talked to each other. Because talking helps.

    The *face-to-face* type talking,
    the *just-listen-to-me* type talking,
    the *hold-my-hand-and-let-me-cry* type talking,
    the *sit-next-to-me-and-listen-to-my-silence* type talking…
    the talking where *the person can be themselves and say anything they feel without the fear of any judgement or loss or rejection*.

    Today, we don’t like that type of talking.

    Those conversations when someone begins to undress one’s mind. In fact we *avoid people*.
    And so, mental illness is epidemic. Naturally.

    There is not much we can do.
    But we can offer a *listening* !

    Let’s let people talk without any fear. Let’s create conversations.

    *Let’s start talking again*.🐞🐞🐞

    CA Akshay T.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. CA Akshay Toksiya says:

    That’s why lets talk about all the things and forgiveness, kindness, love , affection are the most important aspects of life……

    Like

  23. Pratibha Khengare says:

    Rutuja, it’s horrible story,we really need to take care of alone people in society.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Tony Makar says:

    Rutuja you have touched upon a very serious and sensitive subject,
    The case in particular needs to be investigated further as to what could have been the reason of the death of a person going unnoticed for such a long period.
    It’s difficult for me to agree that a young person can live in such isolation in a mega metro city without having a single person that does not inquire her absence for years .
    As you have mentioned that she was lying dead with Christmas gift wrappers scattered across, this makes my point all the more strong that either she received the gifts or was planning to gift someone.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Sunil P. Gandhi says:

    Nice work Rutuja, really an eye opener. something to learn from this tragic incident . At least never let anybody stay alone !!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Anand Pade says:

    Very sad to hear this story

    Like

  27. Anand Pade says:

    Very sad story

    Like

  28. Sunil Mahajan says:

    First,rutuja complements to you for this nice writeup ,today’s life become fast and busy even though basic need of human being is remain same mens every one need care,love,someone for sharing, and some people missing this so this type of incident happened,so we have to sensible for ourselves and others.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Prasanna Mutha says:

    A very thought provoking blog indeed. A few years back, this happening in India looked a distant possibility with the Indian social culture. But now….. possible in India as well…. it’s freighting and worrying too….

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Rahul Yande says:

    This happens when one looses meaning in life. So it is important to give meaning to life.
    Selfless giving is most important
    It is also important to do emotional gymnasium to prevent emotional breakdown

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Prajakta Kulkarni says:

    Rutu,
    You wrote very well. Your concern about the today’s social structure is appricable.
    I have three friends who are having psychological problems. To one I can help little and now he is fine. Two friends of mine were dinied to take any help, and their situation is going to be worsen day by day. They told us not to contact them. Denied possibility that they need support.
    I was worried and thought a lot about the reason which might push them in to unhealthy mental conditions.
    Here are some observations.
    1. They have family history of whimsy parents and relatives.
    2. They lived problematic childhood and adulthood mostly because they do not have mentors .
    3. They have very strong ego which made them lonely. Their bossy approach deprived them from friends.
    4. They were not in the touch of any humatorian work and so they never realized that how blessed they well felicitated they are.
    5. These things make them lonely which will turn their future tragic.
    6. Key is good friends, humbleness, functionality will keep your positivity alive.

    Like

  32. RUSHI gugle says:

    Very nicely written rututai.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Prashant Kothari says:

    Very good article on very sensative issue. It is good point of analysis to visualize the future behaviour of human. We need to change . …

    Like

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